My family - including my Mom, Greg (my brother), Rachel (Aaliyah's mom), and Jason (Jess' fiance)
My kids and grandkids - Tony, Caleb, Naomi, Mia, Jess, Zach, Aaliyah, me, Terran
We girls - Naomi, my Mom, Mia, Rachel, Jess, Aaliyah, me
Leaving Kenya -
My friend, Kim, and I were on the tail end of a week-long trip to northeastern Kenya. Since the only route back to Nairobi passes by Matunda, it was a natural decision to stop by my place there so he could see my house. Collins joined us as well. We would all spend the night before Kim and I headed back to Nairobi. Since it was nearing Christmas, when Kenya’s public transportation is overwhelmed, we had already booked our seats on a shuttle van.
Somehow, it seems very fitting that I was at my mud house when Naomi called me Thursday afternoon (Kenya time) about my Dad’s death. It’s always been a special place in my heart and my Dad was amazed at my having such a house. He often marveled that I could make and receive calls - from the other side of the world - from such a remote location on my cell phone.
In my estimation, it’s also quite amazing how God engineered my circumstances so that Collins was with me when I got the news. Four and a half years ago, the Lord had used me to minister to him when his Dad died. That, in fact, was how our relationship first began. Now the tables were turned and he comforted me in my time of grief!
Another detail, that truly has the Lord’s handprint on it, is having spent the previous week with Kim. In many ways, Kim reminds me of my Dad. They’re both quiet and gentle, kind and unassuming, deep thinkers and in love with the Lord and the Word. Incredibly, the two of us even talked often about my Dad during our trip.
Dad struggled valiantly with congestive heart failure for many, many years. He’d had numerous surgeries and treatments, including an implanted defibrillator/pacemaker. In his last two years, his heart amazing only functioned at 25% capability. So... in many ways, his death wasn’t so terribly unexpected. Of course, such news always comes as a blow and as an unexpected surprise.
Kim and I traveled back to Nairobi on Friday while Naomi efficiently booked a flight home for me (as she simultaneously packed for their family to drive to Omaha). Several of my friends came to be with me on Saturday. I tied up a bunch of loose ends and packed a few things. I also made arrangements for my stuff while I’m away.
Sunday (Christmas Eve), I attended church and stopped by Bishop and Margaret’s for dinner and a ride to the airport. Karo, Jeremiah, Jim, and Joy also came over. They’re all very wonderful friends!
My flights and connections all went well. Naomi picked me up at the Omaha airport (26 l-o-n-g hours later), and upon arriving at the house, I found my Mom, my brother, and all my kids and grandkids in a bustling living room full of activity. I finally met Mia (my six-month old granddaughter for the first time). Later that evening, my brother read us all the Christmas story from Luke, chapter 2. It’s a tradition my Dad had carried on for many, many years.
The next two days, as I suffered from the undeniable effects of jetlag, were hectic. Tuesday morning my parents’ pastor came to go over details for the funeral with all of us. That evening we all attended the visitation at the mortuary. In addition to many, many friends and family members, all of Dad’s siblings came from their various locations around the country.
Wednesday morning, we attended the burial service at the cemetery. Aaliyah sat on my lap. After the rest of the crowd made their way back to their cars, Caleb, Anna (a Kenyan friend of my parents), and I - in a manner similar to what’s done in Kenya - sprinkled dirt on Dad’s casket. Somehow it was an act of closure.
The funeral - or “celebration of life” - service was great! Les Beauchamp, Mom and Dad’s pastor at Trinity, did a super job of making it all very personal. He shared such details as the way Dad used to make my sister, brother, and I peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on Sunday evenings. He would cut them into geometrical shapes and turn a few of them upside-down. We had to put them together like a puzzle before we could eat them!
Other features were a brief eulogy/tribute by me, a salvation challenge by my brother, and a poem read by Jason (Jess’ fiance), Caleb, Zach, and Terran. A few others spoke of the fatherly role Dad played in so many people’s lives. Much mention was made of the way Dad loved numbers and how he used numbers in the Bible to worship his Lord. Two servicemen made a ceremonial and moving presentation of the American flag to my Mom and a female bugler played “Taps”, all in honor of Dad’s four years in the Air Force.
Perhaps the thing that will most be remembered by all was the poignant piano and ballet piece performed by my daughters, Naomi and Jess. The two mediums - dance and music - powerfully elicited emotional responses from virtually all in attendance. It was a fitting and very personal tribute to the "papa" they dearly loved. He would have been so proud of them!
The day ended with a luncheon. During the visitation, funeral, and luncheon a photo montage DVD played along with the song, “I Can Only Imagine”. To be sure, all of us that knew Dad can only imagine him being in the very presence of his Lord and Savior worshipping freely, joyously, and with all his strength!
I plan to stay with my Mom through April in order to assist in this natural period of transition.
If any of you are interested in making a donation in honor of my Dad, Mom has established a non-profit organization to assist my brother and I in our missionary endeavors. For those of you that aren’t aware, my brother, Greg, goes to China now and then to evangelize and smuggle in Bibles.
Contributions can be made to:
Desler Family Ministries
8542 N. 47 St.
Omaha, NE 68152
