My trip to Cape Town, South Africa: Christian Hospitality Network Missionary Get-Away

Paul Cowell (1941-2016)

Since 2002 the Christian Hospitality Network, founded by Paul Cowell, has hosted over 20 Missionary Get-Aways in 4- or 5-star hotels all around the world. Over 4,650 missionaries have been given four days of rest and regeneration near their fields of service.

A hospitality team from the U.S. including doctors, chiropractors, hair stylists, counselors, and a worship team pay their own way to take the message that these front line workers are appreciated and not forgotten by the body of Christ.

The mission of the Christian Hospitality Network is to give missionaries the rest, esteem, and honor they deserve. CHN GetAways not only keep missionaries refreshed and ready to continue their work, they also cover all the expenses.

- - - - -
What I wish I’d known about missionary burnout
1. Stress is not something to be ignored
2. Treat myself
3. Inner healing is a priority
4. Listen to my body
5. I cannot meet every need or solve every problem
6. What I do is not who I am
7. Take myself less seriously
8. I need friends

The statistics are scary:
80% of missionaries burn out and don’t finish their term.
46% of missionaries have been diagnosed with a psychological issue.
87% of those diagnosed with a psychological issue suffer with depression.

[by Sarita Hartz, at www.saritahartz.com/what-i-wish-id-known-about-missionary-burnout/]

- - - -
Narramore Christian Foundation

Every year more than 5,000 U.S. missionaries leave their fields of service for preventable reasons like depression, marriage and family difficulties, unresolved interpersonal conflicts with team members and nationals, and inadequate spiritual and emotional support.

[www.alongsidecares.net/what-we-do/the-need/statistics]

  

This was my second CNH Get-Away, having also attended one in Kenya in 2010. I loved it and was excited to attend this one in South Africa! There were 170 missionaries and children, with a hospitality team of 30 that came along to serve us.

The structure is simple, giving us a lot of time to do our own thing. We can explore the city, rest in our rooms, get acquainted with other attendees, or take advantage of the services provided by the team members. For instance, I saw a doctor about my recent injuries. We were also given many gifts, including a very nice piece of carry-on luggage for me. And we had a bountiful selection of delicious food at each breakfast and dinner. This picture is a small section of our breakfast buffet.

The gentleman in the red shirt was our speaker at one of the evening services. After speaking, he led all of us in praying for Jean, Paul's widow (also in red), that she would have the energy to continue this much needed ministry.

It was great to visit with several of the other missionaries and hear stories from their work in various parts of Africa.

Kathy, who works for CHN, and I met at the Get-Away in Kenya and have stayed in touch for the intervening six years. On the last day, we hopped on a Red Tour Bus and headed to the beach at Hout Bay for a stroll along the ocean. After that we had a delicious lunch of fresh fish at Mariner's Wharf.

After the Get-Away, I spent some time with friends that live in South Africa, who I know from my church in Nairobi. I spent a few days with Tina (orange vest) and her husband. On one of the days, she and I had lunch with Jonathan and Sandra, seated outside at Groot Constantia, the oldest wine estate in South Africa. It was lovely to see all of them again and pick up the conversation right where we left off a few years ago!

Lima Bean Soup // Raw Veggies and Raw Emotions

The short rains are upon us in this land straddling the equator
A season when the soil’s dust suddenly becomes sticky mud
A season of gorgeous greens in the midst of dreary grayness and cold

Raindrops falling and splashing on the soil, on the dust
Release plant oils into the air, with a drip, drop
Creating an earthy aroma - petrichor
Named for the fluid flowing from the veins of Greek gods

But this was a rare sunny day, blue sky, white puffy clouds
A day to stay home, to step out of the traffic
A day to catch up on housework, laundry
A day to cook and bake

It became a day to catch up on my thoughts
I chop raw veggies, as raw emotions are released
Mucous falls on the cutting board

The soup ingredients simmer and then they boil
Just like the heartbreaks of life
Emotions which had been simmering
Suddenly boil over
Forcing themselves to the forefront of my mind, my heart

I allow the tears to boil over
As I release the emotions
Fluid flows from my eyes and down my face

On this sunny day
My tears replace the rain
I embrace the weight of my grief
Allowing my emotions free expression

A pleasant earthy aroma wafts through the house
An enticing fragrance

The soup has been well seasoned
A mixture of things that grew from the earth
That came out of the soil, the dust

I worship you, my God
An earthy incense aroma fills my home
May my worship be a sweet fragrance to your nostrils

I write in my tear-stained journal
Knowing that you collect my tears in a bottle

You and I, my friend, we feasted on mbuzi choma - roasted goat
We ate enthusiastically, with much pleasure
You shared your story with me
And we unknowingly exchanged gifts

You thanked me for a patient and listening ear
With no forced advice
Now I thank you for a life's lesson from a teacher
Live life to the fullest
Live life with no fear

We were friends for a brief season
From different sides of the globe
Brought together, not randomly
But ordained by Almighty God

When you left the soil of this earth
So, so suddenly
You immediately entered the arms of Jesus
In that, I do find comfort and relief

Seasons come and seasons go
Earth to earth
Dust to dust
Farewell my friend, fare thee well

- - - -

There is a season (a time appointed) for everything,

      a time for every delight, event, or purpose under heaven. 

A time to be born and a time to die;

      a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. 

~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-3 

Dust (out of which God made mankind’s body)

      will return to the earth as it was,

      and the spirit will return to God who gave it. 

~ Ecclesiastes 12:7 

Marking 16 years living in Kenya as a missionary

Sitting outside my former mud hut at Mtoni

This month marks 16 years for me serving as a missionary in Kenya, as I first arrived in October 2001. 

Oswald Chambers has spoken to me deeply for all these years and has played a pivotal role in my persevering at my God-given assignment. This is an excerpt from a recent reading in My Utmost for His Highest:

The duty of a faithful missionary is to concentrate on keeping his soul completely
and continually open to the nature of the Lord Jesus Christ.

The men and women our Lord sends out on His endeavors
are ordinary human people, but people who are controlled by their devotion to Him,
which has been brought about through the work of the Holy Spirit.

Another shot of my mud hut (my ministry base and up-country home, 2002-2011)

Never choose to be a worker,

but once God has placed His call upon you, 

woe be to you if you “turn aside…to the right or the left.” (Deut. 28:14) 

He will do with you what He never did before His call came to you,

and He will do with you what He is not doing with other people.

Let Him have His way.

~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

The next four blog posts after this one are all subjects that are near and dear to me, but written by others:

Six myths about expat life, by Rachel Pieh Jones

Solitude, a reprieve from the noise of doing, by Katrina Kenison

Living single overseas, by Elizabeth Spencer

How to stay in when it's hard, by Jim Bloom

I hope you'll take a look at them, as you'll gain a glimpse into my mind and heart! 

Just scroll down.

Deb and I (plus several others) enjoyed a picnic in the park
on my 10th anniversary in Kenya (2011).

My 16th anniversary as a missionary living in Kenya; "Six Myths about Ex-Pat Life" (Rachel Pieh Jones)

Myth 1: Adventure
I’m an expatriate! Cue the Indiana Jones soundtrack, give me a whip and a cool hat, and let’s have an adventure! Okay, life as an expatriate is not all about adventure. In fact, it rarely is. Expatriate life is just life. Sometimes we do super awesome things but most of the time we are working, loving people, not-so-loving people, and doing the mundane things of life.

Myth 2: Living is the same as traveling
You might be a seasoned traveler who has seen the world and had a wonderfully adventurous time doing it. But traveling is not the same as living. Travelers don’t need to open bank accounts or rent a post office box or figure out what school to send their children to. Travelers get to see the world they want to see and they get to leave it when they’ve seen enough.

Myth 3: Feels like home
If you stay long enough, you’re right at home. Right? How many times have I heard, “You’re local now”? I’m not. I never will be. Yes, I understand things much better than the adventurous traveler passing through and I have some depth of cultural insight and some history and shared experiences. In some ways, the host country does start to feel like home. We have made it a home. We use phrases now like passport nation and global nomad. Home is being constantly redefined.

Myth 4: Expat life is always fulfilling and purposeful
Oh, but you do such meaningful work! Yes, yes we do. And sometimes, I feel that. Sometimes it is a humbling, awesome thing to see people thriving in a business start-up we launched or a girl earning a personal best in a race for a club that we sponsor. Other days? I see the beggar on the street and I wince. I don’t want to deal with their need. Some days, I give to someone because I am compelled by faith and compassion. Other days? I give because I just want the person to go away. And most days? Most days I don’t give. Most days are groceries, homework, friendships, and culture confusion. Most days are regular days. I believe we carry ourselves with us when we move abroad and that my husband and I would live the same way if we lived in the US – pursuing purpose and doing fulfilling work there, too. Simply slapping on an expat label doesn’t automatically make my writing or my husband’s teaching more purposeful. In many ways, it simply makes it lonelier.

Myth 5: Expat life is one of suffering and deprivation

Well, if it isn’t all gold and diamonds, it must be suffering. It must be lonely and frustrating and discouraging and really, really hard. Yes, sometimes it is. I hate missing funerals and weddings. I hate that I haven’t even met my nephew yet and he is almost one. I hate that I’m not there for my friends’ pregnancies and divorces and to help people move or celebrate. But I wouldn’t classify this as a life of suffering or of deprivation, not any more than life anywhere could be. A stay-at-home mom wondering if she will ever talk to an adult again? A too-young mom with breast cancer? A parent working so many hours they can never make their kid’s t-ball games? Expat life is not more or less. It is just one kind of life.

Myth 6: Expats are heroic

We are brave, we have been through coups and murders and robberies. We are creative, have learned how to make bread by hand, brown sugar by hand, clothes by hand. We are strong, don’t complain about cold showers or our hair falling out or about the boys who shout ‘sex’ at us when we walk past (or even if we do complain about these things, we don’t leave, so we have perseverance). We hear the phrase, all too often, “I could never do it.” Baloney. One – yes you could, if you had to. Two – I can’t do it either. I cry and fight and want to quit. Three – I could turn the phrase around and say I couldn’t do what you are doing – the long hours, the isolation of American independence, the cultural intensity. But that’s not true, I could. Just like you could.

This is refusing empathy, drawing dividing lines, creating unhelpful comparisons. I don’t like hearing, “Oh, you don’t want to hear about my bad day because you have been to a refugee camp.” Don’t compare our challenges. Just open up your life to me and be open to mine and let’s listen to each other. I’m not a hero. You aren’t a hero. Or maybe we both are. We’re just trying to make it through our days, trying to make a little difference in the lives of others and eking out some joy and thankfulness.

I do it here, you do it there. Press on.

Rachel Pieh Jones
(Writing, running, raising three kids in Djibouti)

6.5 Myths About Expat Life

My 16th anniversary as a missionary living in Kenya; "Solitude: Reprieve from Noise of Doing" (by Katrina Kenison)

“Solitude is the soul’s holiday, an opportunity to stop doing for others

and to surprise and delight ourselves instead.”

~ Katrina Kenison

There comes a moment. You love your life and the precious people in it. Yet, suddenly, the very intimacy you cherish feels like a burden you can no longer carry. You want to see yourself as a person who is competent and sturdy and kind. But today you are able to be none of these things. You can’t anticipate or meet one more need or set one more thing to rights.

You want to wake up in silence and let things go their own way. You want to take a vacation from worrying and fretting and fixing. You want to take a walk at your own pace. You long for a conversation in which the only one you have to listen to is the small quiet voice inside, the voice that speaks without words.

You wonder if anyone else hits this wall of too much. The hard, unforgiving place of feeling crowded and tired and overwhelmed. Or live up to the expectations you’ve set for yourself. You find yourself imagining solitude, craving it.

You think about where you might go, just for a little while, to privately fall apart and put yourself back together again. You arrive at dusk in a downpour. The cabin door is sticky but unlocked, like a magic place in a fairy tale. The rain has washed away some outer layer you were ready to shed anyway. Already you are inhabiting your body in a different way - curious and raw, defenseless, hopeful.

Solitude has always been your home territory. 

You feel lighter. Peaceful. Better. In the morning, without any sort of plan, you walk up the road, going nowhere. Focus on today, you remind yourself. With every step you are clearing a space, coming closer to a self you almost forgot you knew. Everything has its wonders. You are here to pay attention.

Alone, your life begins to feel like a choice again. You find yourself drawn into harmony with the sweet, easy flow of the day, unfolding according to its own rhythm. Slowly, something that was stuck deep inside begins to move. You ride the gentle currents of sadness, regret, joy, longing, acceptance. Surprised by tears, you lift your face to the sky and allow the sun to dry them.

There is the necessary, satisfying work of serving others. 

But there is also the soul’s work, which you ignore at your peril. 

And so, for today, anyway, you commit yourself to it fully: The journey inward to find your own truth. The stillness of your mind behind the noise of your doing. The willingness to see the beauty inside yourself, and to honor that.

You sit a while and take in the view, the gentle, slumbering hills, the drifting veil of clouds. This, too, is a kind of compassion - resting, listening, waiting in the silence of your heart. There is a new energy moving in you. A reverence. You can do this. You can dive down into the sacred quiet. You can learn to be at ease here. To be grateful for these hidden treasures in this secret, spacious place.

In a little while, you will walk the long road back. You will return home tomorrow a little different, still holding the hand of your wilder self, having touched for just a moment your own infinity.

Katrina Kenison
(Wife, mother, homemaker, writer, life-long reader, list-maker, recovering perfectionist, and inveterate seeker)
Solitude

My 16th anniversary as a missionary living in Kenya; "Living Single Overseas?" by (Elizabeth Spencer)

Single Overseas? 
8 lessons learned the hard way, from someone who did it all wrong

1. Find community that has similar values. 

2. Live with safe people. 
Your home needs to be an oasis.

3. Stay connected with people that love you.
Stay grounded in who you are and where you came from.

4. Know why you are going to live overseas.
You need to know why you are living isolated in a different country and making sacrifices. Being an international woman of mystery isn’t a good enough reason to live overseas alone.

Honestly, there is only one reason good enough to live overseas:

you have to be called and know it is part of your vocation. 

5. Know what gets you into trouble.
Know your limits and be honest about what you can handle and where you need support as well as boundaries.

6. Know your values.
I was a little vague about what I believed to be right and wrong. The further I got from community and the lonelier I became, the more those values seemed to fade into a distant memory.

7. Know that life in a foreign country is hard.
You are going to mess up, and there is grace for you. Living overseas alone can seem impossible at times and could make you question everything that once seemed certain.

8. Know when it’s time to go home.
I figured that part out too late. I was stubborn and determined to make Africa work for me.

I learned much from my mistakes. Singleness can be an incredible gift to understand who you really are, and living overseas single can heighten that understanding further.

Push into God and become who He created you to be.

Elizabeth Spencer once lived in Malawi for three years. 

She now lives in Ethiopia with her husband, Greg.

Single Overseas? 8 Lessons from Someone Who Did it All Wrong

(Above are excerpts. Click link for full article.)

My 16th anniversary as a missionary living in Kenya; "How to Stay in When it's Hard" (by Jim Bloom)

If we want to stay in hard places for the sake of God’s kingdom, our hearts need to be captivated by the immensity of God and his redemptive purposes in the world. Only that breathtaking vision can hold us in contexts of immense pain and seeming hopelessness.

If you’ve lost your vision, fix your eyes again on Jesus. Ask God to ravage your heart again for a glimpse of what lies just beyond the rough edges of the world.

It is a vision of glory beyond the horizon that keeps us going when the accumulation of disappointments, losses, and seeming failures threaten to kill our zeal for kingdom-building.

We are impoverished

without our brothers and sisters

from different ethnicities, cultures,
and socio-economic backgrounds

joining us at the table of the Lord’s banquet. 

Not just in eternity, but now in our present experience.

Yes, there is labor, toil, and fatigue in a hard field. But God loves to provide us valuable resources and spiritual refreshment in the people who live in these difficult places. They must be at the table with us if we will be complete.

Yes, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, but Paul learned both how low he could go and how much he could abound through much testing (Philippians 4:12–13). Therefore, as we seek to follow Jesus into a hard place, we must go with a deep humility, admitting that our knowledge of our heart is limited, trusting him to lead and sustain us wherever we go - and stay.

Jim Bloom, U.S. Director for InnerCHANGE
How to Stay in When it's Hard
(Above are excerpts. Click link for full article.)


- - -
Your longevity in mission may very well depend upon your leaning into the promises of God. For when you look to God you will have faith and when you lean into the promises you will have hope and where there are faith and hope, there too will be love. And love remains with the place and people.

~ Michael Duncan, missionary to Asia's urban poor
      (quoted in Bloom's article)

Becoming aware; my quiet reflection in the woods

.
 . .

Becoming Aware

by Deb Smith, February 2017

Westerville, Ohio, USA

In stillness

I open my senses

I am quiet and I listen

I slow down

I observe

I am becoming aware

A slight breeze

Leaves rustling

Melody of a bird

A babbling brook

Intricate designs in nature

Brown beauty in the dead of winter

Gentle ripples on the surface of a pond

I wait

I practice silence

I know you are here

There it is -

the very presence of God

I sense you next to me

There's a whisper in my spirit

I hear your voice

You are everywhere

Your peace surrounds me

Your love enfolds me

And I have become aware

.